I had that ammonia smell again today around 12:30 PM. Still not sure if that means anything but need to jot it down.
Lists
Wow, 2 days in a row now I have been able to use a list. I am getting most things done that I write on them. Earlier today I took the boys to my in-laws to help them get their house ready for selling. They are moving to SC at the end of October, at the earliest. Grandma Jane has bought a condo here in this area but might be spending winters down south. This will be a hard change for all of us.
Tomorrow I am taking a meal to a woman from church who also happens to be my counselor. Well she is out till the end of June so I am going to be talking to another one that can help me. I need to begin to talk with someone about this diagnosis and soon. Someone on the professional level. This is not fun or easy. I am tired but I can’t rest or sleep. I have never had a time like this before. It scares me. I am very talkative, and my thoughts are all over the place. I jump from subject to subject. Just how does one live like this, let alone school her kids? I wish someone had answers for me.
I know the Lord does but I am not finding them yet. I have exercised some today but I haven’t read my bible or prayed, unless you count asking for protection while I drove home sleepily or for the will to fall back asleep at 6:00 AM!
Good website with more information
I found this place and it has good information…
Check it out for basic information…
To sleep or not to sleep….
that is the question! It seems I am well into some type of hypomanic mood swing. I am having the racing thoughts, lots of thoughts of picking things up and throwing them and general crankiness. It’s not fun. I can’t sleep this morning, after only about 5 hours, so I thought writing would be good. I am making small lists for each day now. It’s just a few things but maybe this will help me stay on track.
Wanna hear a real funny story? Yesterday while setting up this blog, I chose my username so fast and went on to the next step in registering that I forgot what my username was! It took me well over 45 min. to figure out how to recover it. I usually forget my passwords but this time it was a username! Duh!
It’s a beautiful spring morning here in Ohio. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, some neighbor is making noise! Jack, my dog, is faithfully curled up next to me on “his” chair. He is sure this is way too early for him to be up as well. I agree. But I can’t sleep. Phil is still here starting his work day from home as usual. The coffee is ready. And yet, something in my head is amiss. I have the pressures of the day facing me. I have the pressures of schooling my kids, cleaning a house, doing laundry, phone calls, planning dinner, banking, etc…looming over my head and all I want to do is get some sleep that is real and deep. Yeah,feelings of impending doom are yet another symptom of this cruel illness.
I really want to get started on writing down my thoughts on our home school soon but that will have to wait. The year is winding down and I am making plans, all in my head so far, for the next year. We shall see where that goes.
