First day of school

Thought we would never get here. The boys are off and at school. Here are a few pictures from this morning..

Birgit’s blog

Birgit’s blog

What a weekend…

Let’s see, where to start? The girls moved out. But in the mean time, Lauren is sick. Turns out she has mono and then an allergic reaction to the augmentin and was so bad today that she was at the dr. yet again with shots and all sorts of meds handed out. She is now at her apt. with Brit taking care of her. Those two are funny. They have no tv and no mouse for their pc so they were playing cards. Lauren is doing a lot of sleeping with says a whole lot. She is so very ADHHHD that when she would actually lay down, that was when I knew she was for sure ill. I am only 5 min. away if she needs something.
I found a good dresser on the side of the road yesterday. That was a blessing since we needed one.
And Lauren was able to talk with Fr. Roger about getting some financial help for her counseling and he also offered to help her with her bills this month while she has to rest from the mono. God is good!

I am ok. I am out of one of my meds, I am sitting here waiting for it to come in the mail. I thought one week was enough but its taking longer. I hope it comes soon or I might be crashing! I sure hope not! And I got word that my thyroid is just underactive but no nodules or lumps! Whew!!!

Bedtime is soon. No word on jobs. I might call the Mustard Seed about my app. there.

So I applied for a job today, picked up an application

and will apply at one more tomorrow. I also put my “profile” on a merchandiser’s website for potential work. I think I can do this! I have to now. We just signed a contract to get our basement waterproofed. We have been putting it off for years and now our foundation is at risk. Blocks are shifting and cracking so it’s time. We could, with tight budget cuts and discipline do it on one income, but we need breathing room in the money area. Whew…my life has changed so much this year. I just feel like I am on a merry-go-round!

Jobs and stuff

I have no idea how to begin to find a job. I actually called about a retail job at the local Harley place thinking it would benefit Phil and his bike in the long run as well as bring some money in for “my” upkeep. The cost of counseling, my pdoc, and me meds are high and not going down anytime soon so something has got to change. I would love a merchandiser job. Set my hours, meet people, stock, pay attention to details, stuff I can do. But it’s so hard getting in anywhere. I will keep looking although Phil says one thing at a time. I just had my thyroid ultrasound today and I am waiting for the results. School starts the 29th for the boys.

Jonathan’s mom emailed me. We are going to have the families meet soon. This will be interesting..

Making salsa

Ok so we had a 10lb box of tomatoes here and I wanted to make salsa. I bought all the stuff and got this recipe.

HOT DISHES / Zesty Sides Salsas and More / Salsa
Drew’s Fresh Salsa

Yields: 2 cups • Heat Index: Hot

1 large white onion, diced
1 large green bell pepper, diced
3 tomatoes, diced
2 garlic cloves, finely diced
2 jalapeños, seeded and diced
Juice of 2 limes
3 tablespoons chopped cilantro
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
2 tablespoons olive oil

Combine all ingredients and allow to stand for at least one hour. Refrigerating overnight will enhance the flavor. Serve with eggs, fish, beef, or poultry.

I made a little more than 2 cups. I can’t wait for the flavors to mesh and eat the stuff!!! I should be a chef.

What he said….

Phil wrote me such a great email about what I wrote here that I have to post it. It’s personal but I need it here for me.

Michelle,

You cook wonderful meals from scratch.
You make beautiful homemade cards.
You are easy to talk to.
You are a good friend when given the chance.
You think of other people often.
You nurture your children.
You pay attention to detail.
You are funny.
You can type fast.
You can hear the Holy Spirit.
You can speak publicly and not be nervous.
You are a good navigator.
You are very intelligent.
You love fiercely.
You are loyal.

You are loved.
You are liked!
You are beautiful.
You are sexy.
You are great in bed. (not just sleeping)
You think of me.
You love and care for us.
You do things for other people because you care.

the Father loves you
He knows YOU
He cares for you
He looks out for you
He knows more about Bipolar than the doctors
He knows more about eating problems than the doctors
He knows more about your weight than you do
He still loves YOU!

I love you too.
You are my lover
You are my best friend
You are my confidant
Yes, I still like you!
I miss you
I need you
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.

Phil

Food & weight

I can’t stop eating lately. Whenever I know Phil isn’t going to be around, I eat like crazy. I am out of control and don’t know what to do. It doesn’t help that my thyroid is hypoactive, or not working and I am just stuck! I hate this. I want to lose weight and be healthy and fit. But I love food too. It’s awful. I know why I am this way. See when I was young, I had a real bad gag reflex, a lot like Caleb. But I didn’t like food in general. I was so picky and things made me gag. I was teased almost every day. The one food I liked was spaghetti which was good in an Italian family. I hated how meatloaf, green beans, mashed potatoes, peas and all sorts of things smelled or tasted. I was allowed to make a sandwich if I didn’t like what was served. But then I was teased by my dad and family about that as well. We always had chipped ham around the house and that is what I made. By 7th grade, I was getting chubby. I was not fat or really that bad but I had such a poor self image that I acted fat.
When I had Brit at 16, I gained over 50 pounds! That was hard to deal with at 16. And I did not get back into shape for over a year or more. I got skinny for a short time but that bad first marriage did me in. It was another 6 years before I was able to lose some significant weight again. I walked every day for 8 weeks and met Phil during that time. I just quit eating so much. I was heavy after having the boys. I was depressed and on anti-depressants and cound not lose weight. I finally lost 40 pounds in 2000 but in 2002, I gained it half of it back after having my gall bladder out. Now I leveled off for the last 3 years until now. I am up another 10 pound or more in 4 months. Now I have thyroid issues. Will it ever end??

It’s been awhile

Sorry, Jo! She likes to read my blog cause it’s real. Well what is real is I am not doing good this week. Life is hectic with Phil working the county fair and his day job. I also have to drive the boys to Reading Camp daily at 8 and pick up at 11:30. It’s been hard to place them as their reading skills are really lacking and I took all that on myself. Well I can’t change it and magically make them able to read overnight so for now, they are just going to have to learn a little each day.

My thyroid is not working right. It’s underactive. It’s changed since I began my bipolar meds. Hmmm…I see my family doctor about this in the morning.

My prayer counselor told me to make a list of my good qualities and I have really put it off all week. So here it is..This might take a bit.

I cook wonderful meals from scratch.
I make beautiful homemade cards.
I am easy to talk to.
I am a good friend when given the chance.
I think of other people often.
I nurture my children.
I pay attention to detail.
I am funny.
I can type fast.
I can hear the Holy Spirit talk to me.
I can speak publicly and not be nervous.
I am a good navigator.
I am intelligent.
I love fiercly.
I am loyal.

Ok that is it for now. If I think of more, I can add it in.

Lord, make my life more like the one you have designed for me. Help me to focus on receiving your love and giving it back out to others as You would have me to do. I want to serve you with my whole heart and not run from you as I am doing of late. Only You can heal me and make me whole. I am you servant and want to do your will. I love you Jesus. Amen.

Daughters and boyfriends

So here I sit, playing Literati and Lauren and Jeremy, her not really boyfriend friend are on their way here. Brit and Jonathan are here, watching a movie with Phil. This is very interesting. Guys, cars, and stuff….more later…