Never thought I would entitle a post by that name! Things have been stressful around here. Phil is tired a lot from dealing with me. I am tired from dealing with me! He says he has been holding in his anger with me so that it doesn’t send me over the edge. Well how could I change if he doesn’t tell me something is wrong? I think it has to do with the unnatural fears and panic that I have been dealing with for months, mostly caused by Abilify. I am now on Xanax to help alleviate the panic disorder symptoms. I miss the forums at Patty Duke’s site. I miss chatting with people in my situation. It’s really a struggle to find a trustworthy person who really understands what I am going through. Lynn is helpful but she doesn’t quite get it all. Phil says I need to give it over to God more. I do but I don’t get the feedback or at least I can’t hear it like I want/need to. It’s hard to write about everything so I won’t even try. That’s it for now.
Archive for October, 2006
It’s gone….
For some unknown reason the online forums at Patty Duke’s blog site are gone. Who knows if they will ever be up again. This was the first place for bipolars that I felt like I fit in with. Everyone is nice there. No swearing and other foul and crass language like other sites I have been to. Makes me mad and sad at the same time.
Well I am exercising a few days a week pretty regularly now. I am doing the Walk Away The Pounds DVD. So far I have only been able to do the 1 mile walk. Soon I hope to be able to do the 2 mile walk. I know it’s beneficial for me to do something and this seemed doable and easy enough. No excuses when the weather is bad since I do it right in my living room.
Phil and I are having a date night tonight. We are skipping house church. I don’t wanna call and say we won’t be there but I have to. Ugh. We really need the time out with each other. It’s been ok lately but we need some time alone, away from the stress of things.
Jake’s knee seems to be better since he slowed down his activity rate. I hope it truly is healing right like the Lord promised me. No way to tell since it’s inside.
