Overwhelmed at the mess….

Gosh, how do my kids collect so much stuff? I am overwhelmed at the amount of toys and stuff in their small room. I don’t know where to begin right now. I have moved out the dresser that is junk and cleaned up the area. Next is to move the dresser that is staying into that spot. Then move the shelving unit into their room. I have to reorganize their toys! Jacob can be such a slob about his stuff. And he collects junk. Sticks and tape and paper and tubes and all sorts of stuff of no consequence. It’s so frustrating. And I don’t know how to make good decisions on throwing stuff away. I need Phil to help at this point.
Here I was, sweeping their floor and I found a small key that Jake has had for a long time. Why did I save it? Who knows!!! I think I must be sick or something. I hate this part of me. I figured I better blog it out and get it out of my system. Maybe I can start again later and I might even toss that key!

Cleaning and rearranging…

So I am sitting here with 50 cd’s on my desk. I have to decide what to keep and what to freecycle. So far today I freecycled 1 large bag, about 20 pounds, of boys clothes, 1 lunchbox that cools and heats and I offered a few other things. I will list the cd’s and books tomorrow. I have a box of scrapbooking magazines to give a friend. We moved Phil’s desk into the living room. Lauren wants to paint her room, the one we are letting her move into, before she puts furniture in there. She will be crowding in the living room with the other furniture for a few nights. I ironed my curtains and rehung them today. I organized the boys’ drawers in their shared dresser and emptied the one that Caleb used and was broken. I will freecycle that dresser because it still has use but only for an adult. I would hate to think of someone using it for a kids room. It’s not safe.
Yesterday after church we went over to Phil’s parent’s house. Phil and the boys went swimming then we all hung out at the pool talking. We ate dinner with them then came home. Phil is really tired and frustrated with things. He has a new spot on his eye, of course this is right after he saw the retina specialist who said his eyes are getting better. It’s the stress of life! I hate it. I wish he would consider seeing my pdoc and getting on some antidepressants for awhile to handle things. I think I will ask him what he thinks about it. We see Ric on Thursday.
Brit called today cause she was so excited that the baby is rolling over both ways now. And she is getting up on her knees too! lol…she cracks me up. I bet this time next year she will be calling me cause Miss Elizabeth will be pulling out all the toys while the new baby is learning how to roll! It should get interesting.Ok, back to the sorting and cleaning so I can sleep later in a clean room.

Home from camp…

Jake is home and doing fine. He was tired and sore. He has quite a few bug bites. Poor guy. I washed all his clothes but I think I need to soak his white socks in bleach as they didn’t come clean.

Today we put my computer and desk into our bedroom. We are slowly getting the three rooms moved around. Whew, my lower back hurts. Phil went to the eye doctor again today. His eyes are doing better, slowly getting better is what the doctor said. He goes back in September for the whole big exam again. I hate those days. It takes hours!

I seemed to have lost a few pounds lately and I am not sure how. Maybe it’s because I don’t eat much dairy any more. Funny that I can eat butter, sour cream and cream cheese with no effects at all.

My moods have been ok. I have been rushing Phil lately, according to him. I guess I am. Sometimes I don’t think he understands the fact I am home all day long with hardly any adult conversation and he is at work talking to people all day long. So if we have somewhere to go in the evening, I want to get going and socialize with people!

I’ll end with one more picture of Jake in uniform, marching with his troop at camp. I am so proud of him camping all week. He told me he is no longer afraid of spiders, ants, and bugs. Jake is the first boy on the right.

My man in uniform!

Here is my son, Jacob, on the left. Next to him is his tentmate, another Jacob. On the far right, crouched down, is my son Caleb. Jake’s tentmate has a younger brother named Caleb too. Jake comes home tomorrow. Too bad they have had lots of rain and now thunder and lightening storms all week. He will be glad to be home and do nothing all weekend. We aren’t expecting the poor boy to do much of anything but go to church on Sunday.

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Cleaning house….

it actually feels good to clean today. Maybe I am doing better with my issues surrounding cleaning. That would be great! Jake is off at camp and so far so good. Caleb went to his choir rehearsal today and found some friends right away from school. I am glad he isn’t the only boy doing this. Next week they will perform at our county fair. They are singing the old standards.

Yesterday was a combination grad party and communion party for my neighbor’s two daughters. Jessi is the graduate and she was lovely. She has matured over the 5 years we have known her and she is a lot of fun. She had a blast yesterday! Jenna is 8 and still has a long way towards maturity! lol…she had fun too. Caleb got to swim almost all day long. They had lots of food and desserts. I ate something with dairy, thought I could handle it. NOPE! I had to walk over to my own bathroom and use it off and on for the next 25 minutes! Mostly on, I will tell ya. When will I learn??? Phil laughed at me. That booger! I love him though. The only bad part about the party is that the dad was around. That jerk won’t move out! He is a self adulterous liar who ignores his kids and duties around the house. And he is lazy to boot! Ugh, I know that’s not very Christian of me, but he needs to get a clue and quit hurting his family. He left after a few hours to go be with his softball team for their trip to Illinois. He could have drove out this morning and had plenty of time for the games but I guess those 12-14 yo girls mean more to him than his own daughters. Shame on him.

Ok I am done with that. It feels good to get the junk off my mind about that. I can now pray for him and the rest of the family. T can use all the prayers as well as her four daughters.

I’m a lazy blogger…

I haven’t blogged in almost a week! I guess I just don’t feel like it. No one reads this anyway, so who cares? Jake left for scout camp for the week. I will miss him but not his issues! lol…he was so handsome in his scout uniform this morning. I wish I had taken a picture of him. I will on Wednesday evening when we go to visit him. Lauren got her old job back so now she has 2 jobs and will make some more money. I hope this will cut down on her endless nights and staying out or up late. We are going to offer her the computer room so she can have a bit of privacy and so can we. I am slowly cleaning out this room. Not sure where everything will be put to. I have to box up all my craft stuff from my room too. I have to put my computer and desk in it now. Oh well. Maybe that will be nice. I can listen to music while in my room now.

I keep thinking how I have to back up all our photos in case of a crash but I am putting my favorites on my blog, that way at least I have the best ones here. Here are a few more.

Working things out…

We worked things out with the girls. Brit and family came for the weekend and we had a busy but great visit. The baby is so much fun!!! She is a cutie pie. This time we were able to get a 5 generations picture. Of course we all smiled but Elizabeth doesn’t know when to smile on cue. So this is what we ended up with.

We took about 85 pictures of Elizabeth alone this weekend! She is so photogenic and smiles big smiles. Her eyes are so bright. Here are a few of my favorites.

Elizabeth with her great-great grandma Jane.

Elizabeth with her great grandma Sue.

Brit, Elizabeth and her grandma-(me)

Oh, what a face!

Such a giggly little girl!

Things are not well

Phil and I had a great meeting with our counselor. He affirmed us with our decision about Lauren needing to move because of all the stress she brings here. We talked about her behaviors that are most offending and he said to let her know what we expect from her. Things like respecting us with her talk, respecting the boys’ personal boundaries ( she is always riling them up), curfew, curtsey calls to let us know if she is spending the night at a friend’s house. Not much just your basic rules type of thing. Well last night when Phil got home from the appointment, I had to stop off at the store first, Lauren and Jake bombarded him with questions about burning some stupid thing. He was not in the mood for their silliness. Someone almost made him get into a wreck on his drive home and he was on edge. I think he also had so much on his mind from the job transition situation. So when I walked in, he was trying to relax and all I saw was that the table was full of craft stuff from Jake. I told Jake before I left to clean it up. So now we were rushing to get dinner on the table so we could get out the door for Scouts. Lauren was here on break making some food and her phone was continually going off. Phil had had enough!

He was just about the break. And eventually he did. But I am getting ahead of myself. He called Lauren into our room and told her that she was to put the phone on vibrate while she is here. And then he said we were going to have to have another talk with her. She said she didn’t want to talk and that we did enough talking already. He said that as long as she lives here we will have talks, end of discussion. She got upset and was walking around crying. She left and that was that. We ate dinner and things seemed ok. Then my phone rang. Brit was calling. I answered and she let into me! She was verbally assaulting me, calling me names, accusing me of being a bipolar mess and causing all this trouble, not loving Lauren, etc. etc. etc..I hung up on her. I hate doing that to people but I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. She called back, I answered and she let into me again. I hung up again. She called the third time, by now I had informed Phil of the fact that it was her and what she was saying. He answered the 3rd call to which she said that they were getting a hotel room and not visiting us this weekend but just her sister!

I called Lauren and told her she was wrong to bring Brit into this. That Brit doesn’t live here and doesn’t know the whole story. I did call Brit the other day and told her why we asked Lauren to leave and she agreed. I am not sure what all Lauren has said to Brit since I talked with her but obviously I am the mean one. Funny thing is that last night I hardly said anything to Lauren, it was Phil. Anyway, Phil was breaking and Jake was pushing buttons and Phil lost it. He punched a wall, slammed a door, got in Jake’s face and I was reeling. I was worried about his eye sight and other issues. I was mad at Jake for his behavior and told him so.
Phil calmed down enough and we went to scouts. When we came home Lauren had called and said she was staying at Shawna’s, that she wanted to talk Thursday after work and she was sorry she called Brit.
I emailed Brit and said I would like to talk to her but she can’t assault me and we need to act like adults. I get this response from her today “then stop verbally insulting Lauren like you have our whole lives.”
Not sure where that all came from but I am not happy. Phil is so stressed. He said at the height of the chaos last night he could see those spots on his eyes! I am so worried about him. I am tired of the extremes. Funny thing is that I am doing so well in my treatment and my moods are so stable. Even now I am ok. I think I have put up a wall to not be hurt for the time being. I could be bawling but I don’t want to get there, yet. This is helping, just sharing it all. I don’t know how this is going to be resolved. Brit seems to have some deep issues with me that this is bringing up. I am going to call my mil today and have a chat with her if I can. I guess that’s about it for now. We are praying and praying some more. I need all the prayers I can get.

Elizabeth at 6 months