A little bit louder, a little bit worse. The mood swings are back and are rearing their ugly heads. Life is not fun. Life is rotten right now. Up and down. In and out. Not liking the situations I am in right now.
I realized a few weeks ago that I horribly dislike Phil’s shift and it’s wreaking havoc on the family, especially me. It’s like I have moved forward one step and back five! So I sit here, night after night, wanting to throw my Christmas tree out the back door, ornaments-lights-and all! I am sick of the holidays and what it is supposed to be like. I want my husband to be “present” when he is here, not in the fibro-fog that consummes his body and mind most of the time. I am tired to trying to be strong.
When I start to get those feelings of “I just want to run away” I know it’s bad. There is little I can do to turn the tide, I just have to ride it out. I do need to meet with a friend or something and talk. That would help. But who? Again, it’s the holidays and everyone is probably with family. But I will try to call someone.
On a happier note, I have a few pictures from Christmas with Brit and her family. Over and out.
Getting the babies to be still was like herding cats. It didn’t work out well.